What You Focus on Grows

By Bonnie Durkin -01/19/23

By Bonnie Durkin -01/19/23

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

Whatever You Focus On Grows!

The more you pay attention to something the more of it you get!

This is a wonderful concept if what you’re paying attention to is something that you like and want more of; but if your focus is on a problem or an issue that you’d like to change, it can keep you endlessly stuck, frustrated and miserable – wondering why things won’t change for the better!

Here’s a personal story that I think beautifully shows how this concept works.

Many years ago, when I was a young woman, I lived in Arizona. I moved there right after I got married to my first husband who had gotten a job in Phoenix. I thought I would love it because I had always loved summer and warmth and sunshine, and I was ready to leave winter and my small New England town behind. I wanted a new adventure to go with my new life!

I was not prepared for what happened when I got there. I hated it! I mean I really hated it! I hated everything about it. I hated the heat, the barren landscape, the dirt, the dust, the traffic, the houses right on top of each other, the lifestyle, the lack of seasons and I even came to hate the sunshine! It was endless and relentless, and it burned the skin right off you!

I loudly complained every day to my new husband and everyone else who would listen about how horrible Arizona was and how much I hated it! I missed Connecticut. I missed my family. I missed my woods and my green and my water and my seasons and snow at Christmas.

I spent every day for the first 7 years complaining and wishing I was back in Connecticut. With each year that went by I became more and more miserable, more and more unhappy.

It affected my marriage; it affected my health and I started having panic attacks and all kinds of physical ailments.

Finally, I woke up one day and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had dropped to a whole new level of misery and I remember thinking, “I just want to dig a hole, get in it and cover myself up and never come out.” And at that point I said to myself, “Bonnie, do you want to keep feeling like this for the rest of your life?” My immediate answer back was, “No, I don’t!

Then I said to myself, “Bonnie you live in Arizona, there’s nothing you can do about that right now, so unless you want to keep feeling like this every day you’re going to have to find a way to make the best of it.”

As I thought about it, I realized not everyone hated Arizona, in fact my husband loved it and so did a lot of other people. I didn’t think I could love it, since my current reality was that I hated it, but I decided to make a commitment to start looking for things that I did like.

When I started looking around, the first thing that I noticed was that I never did any real decorating in my house. I hadn’t cared because I wanted to leave. So, the first thing I decided I would focus on was making my house look beautiful and feel warm and inviting.

I jumped wholeheartedly into this project! It stimulated my creative juices which had been unused for the last 7 years and it was a lot of fun and felt good!

The more I focused on and picked up steam with my house beautification, the easier it was to find other things I liked about Arizona as well.

Then a really crazy thing started happening. I woke up one morning and realized I was happy! I felt good and I was enjoying my life even though I was still living in Arizona!

Here’s the point of this story and what you might call the frosting on the cake of my happiness.

After a couple of months of feeling happy and really liking my life, out of the blue, my husband came home from work one day and said he’d been transferred, and we were moving back to Connecticut!

Once I gave up my complaining and focusing on what I didn’t like and found a way to focus on what felt good and what I did like, what I had begged for and dreamed about for nine years just effortlessly happened without me doing anything!

The moral of the story is: you can have 10 things going wrong in your life and one thing going right and if you put your attention on what’s going right and take it off what’s going wrong, everything will start to shift and improve. Conversely, you can have 10 things going right and one thing going wrong and if you dig in and hyper focus on the “problem” you will just start attracting more and more problems into your life.

We all get to choose.

What do you choose to focus your attention on today?

Since your mind is always thinking about something, you might as well think about something that feels good while you are thinking it! – Bonnie

The Appreciation Game: A 30-Day Process to Increase Happiness, Satisfaction & Well-Being!

Want to play The Appreciation Game? It’s not too late to join in the fun & upliftment! It’s free to play and right now there is a big group of us doing it together on Facebook. 

It’s easy and it doesn’t take much of your time. You can play alone, or you can join in with the Facebook group.

You can do as little or as much as you want each day. The concept is to just start looking for and focusing on more things that are already good & right in your life and the world around you and by doing so you raise your mood & vibration.

I guarantee that when you get to the end of your 30-Day journey you’ll feel better than when you started!

When you sign up below you will receive one email a day for 30-Days which will give you the process & concept of the day.

Happy Appreciating! – Bonnie

Play the Game!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
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Your Mind Likes What’s Familiar

By Bonnie Durkin - 01/10/23

By Bonnie Durkin - 01/10/23

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

Your Mind Likes What's Familiar

You have probably heard it’s important to think positively, but sometimes that’s easier said than done! If you’ve ever tried to monitor your thoughts and change your worrying into optimism, you’ve quickly found out how hard that is to do!

Sometimes it seems like our thoughts have a mind of their own and they are thinking us. Just try to stop thinking about something you don’t want to think about, and you’ll see exactly what I mean!

The harder you try to stop thinking about something you don’t want to think about – the more you think about it!

This is because we all have habitual patterns of thoughts that have a lot of energy and momentum attached to them.

A lot of these habits of thinking were learned when we were kids, and they are based on beliefs that feel true.

Remember the Law of Attraction? Well, it helps you out (maybe not so much) by continually feeding you more thoughts that feel like what you’ve previously been thinking. This makes it almost impossible to just stop thinking about them!

Also, there is something called “Negativity Bias” that comes into play. Your brain is programmed to look for and focus on potential problems and threats.

Our tendency to pay more attention to bad things and overlook good things is likely a result of evolution. Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death.

Those who were more attuned to danger and who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive.

This tendency to dwell on the negative more than the positive is one way the brain tries to keep us safe.

  • The human brain has between 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day which equates to about one thought per second of every hour you are awake.
  • 95 percent of those thoughts are the same thoughts you had yesterday and the day before and the day before that.
  • 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative for most people!
  • Which means that the average person has more than 45,000 negative thoughts a day!

How Do You Change Those Thoughts?

So, what can you do? Are you doomed to keep thinking what you’ve always thought? No! Absolutely not!

But changing your thoughts can be a bit tricky because you can’t just make a decision to start thinking more positively if that has not been your habit in the past. It is too much of a change in the frequencies – you’ll be working against the power of the Law of Attraction and also your mind, which likes what’s familiar to it.

Your Mind Likes What’s Familiar

Your mind likes what’s familiar to it because what it already knows feels safe, and because of the neural pathways that are formed when you do something over and over again. These neural pathways make it much easier to think and do what you’ve always done before.

But you can make what’s been a familiar habit of thought, unfamiliar by focusing on and putting your attention on something else, something new, something you want that feels good when you think it!

When you consistently focus on something new for about 30 days, you create a new neural pathway in your brain which makes the “new thought” feel “familiar” and eventually it becomes a new positive, habitual pattern of thinking.

That is what you are doing with the Appreciation Game. You are creating new positive habits of thought and new patterns of thinking about things

You are creating habits of thought that feel really good when you think them!

Today, become a seeker of what is working and what’s right and what you like best about everything and everyone!

Give your mind the job of seeking blessings, beauty and goodness wherever you are, whoever you are with and no matter what you are doing, look for things to appreciate!

Give it a try and let me know how it goes. – Bonnie

The Appreciation Game: A 30-Day Process to Increase Happiness, Satisfaction & Well-Being!

Want to play The Appreciation Game? It’s not too late to join in the fun & upliftment! It’s free to play and right now there is a big group of us doing it together on Facebook. 

It’s easy and it doesn’t take much of your time. You can play alone, or you can join in with the Facebook group.

You can do as little or as much as you want each day. The concept is to just start looking for and focusing on more things that are already good & right in your life and the world around you and by doing so you raise your mood & vibration.

I guarantee that when you get to the end of your 30-Day journey you’ll feel better than when you started!

When you sign up below you will receive one email a day for 30-Days which will give you the process & concept of the day.

Happy Appreciating! – Bonnie

Play the Game!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
Weekly tips, tools, & processes to help you feel better and live the life of your dreams!
To receive the Empowered To Thrive weekly newsletter delivered to your email, sign up below.
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Sing to Calm & Uplift Yourself

By Bonnie Durkin - 11/29/22

By Bonnie Durkin - 11/29/22

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

Sing to Calm & Uplift Yourself!

Today I’d like to talk about a quick, easy way that you can improve your mood and raise your vibration. Singing!

Music is pure vibration and has been used since the beginning of time by all cultures to set a mood, raise people’s energy and to celebrate. 

Songs, hymns and chanting are used in all religious and spiritual traditions for worship, praise and celebration.

Preschool and elementary teachers know that small children love singing and music and will enthusiastically join in with simple, upbeat songs. It’s a great way to keep them happy and engaged!

When I was a child both my mother and grandmother used to sing regularly. They sang while they did chores around the house, and they sang while they cooked. They would start family “sing-a-longs” when we rode in the car, they sang to us at bedtime and they would get us all singing as we gathered around the piano on the holidays.

I carried on this tradition with my own children when they were small. I used to sing to them and with them every day – we had special songs we sang for clean-up and bedtime. Both of my children and I really loved it! Singing put us in a happy and playful mood while doing tasks and gave us a sense of stability and soothing at bedtime.

It’s been a long time since my children were little and I’ve noticed that as the years have gone on I sing less and less. But lately I’ve been experimenting with singing again. I’ve been singing first thing in the morning, in the shower, while I’m working around the house, in the car or if I’m aware that I’m feeling stressed or down. I’ve noticed that’ I’ve been feeling a lot happier, lighter, and more playful!

The Benefits of Singing

Singing tricks your brain into thinking that you’re happy even if you’re not because it releases the feel-good chemicals called endorphins into your brain.

The military understands this. That’s why they have the troops sing simple, chant type songs while doing unpleasant things like long marches.

Give it a try if you have household tasks that you need to do but don’t really enjoy – it works! Not only does singing increase the “feel-good” chemicals in your brain but the deep breathing needed to sing draws more oxygen into your blood which is really good for your cells and your health.

Also, while you’re singing you are not thinking so it shuts off those ANT’s (Automatic Negative Thoughts) and allows your mind to be in a more positive, receptive state. Which means that it changes your mood to a higher, better feeling vibration!

The other thing that singing, humming, and chanting does is it stimulates your body’s Vagus Nerve. The Vagus Nerve helps regulate the nervous system and activating it this way can turn off the Sympathetic Nervous System (fight or flight) and turn on the Para-sympathetic Nervous System (rest & relaxation). 

If you’re feeling anxious, stressed or overwhelmed, try singing a song or if don’t want to sing try taking a deep breath in and releasing it out in a long hum. Keep breathing in and humming out until you feel relaxed and calm.

So, today I challenge you to give it a try. It doesn’t matter if you can carry a tune or not. Just choose a simple feel-good song or sing along with one! It doesn’t matter how you do it – just sing! – Bonnie
This process comes from my book The Appreciation Game – A 30-Day Process the Increase Happiness, Satisfaction & Well-Being! – Bonnie

A Cup of Calm to Help You Ease Stress & Anxiety & Feel Better Fast!
TTT Tapping to Help You De-Activate Your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Get some of your favorite beverage and then use the camera on your smart phone to scan the QR Code on the back of this uplifting 11oz., ceramic mug. You’ll be taken to a webpage that holds 3 different guided tapping techniques to help you ease your stress, anxiety & worries and start feeling better fast! Lean your phone up against your mug and settle down for a little emotional hygiene and self-care session.

Includes 3 guided videos to choose from.

  • Tap and Breathe – for a quick 2.5-minute reset.
  • Tapping to Relieve Stress, Anxiety and Feel Calm Safe, Centered & Secure – for a quick 4.5-minute emotional shift.
  • The Emotional Reset Process – a 28-minute guided video, where I lead you through a full Emotional Reset Process session!

Special Offer Price of Only – $20.00! – plus 6.99 shipping (US only)

Buy Now!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
Weekly tips, tools, & processes to help you feel better and live the life of your dreams!
To receive the Empowered To Thrive weekly newsletter delivered to your email, sign up below.
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Change Your Channel Change Your Life!

By Bonnie Durkin - 11/16/22

By Bonnie Durkin - 11/16/22

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

Change Your Channel, Change Your Life!

You are probably familiar with picking up the remote control and flipping through the channels looking for something that feels good to you, if you want to watch television.

Your life is a bit like a television set and your thoughts are like the different channels or emotional frequencies. In this analogy your focus would be the remote control that you use to choose the Channel you want to view.

In TV viewing and in the viewing and experiencing of your life, if you don’t like what you’re looking at, you can always change the Channel and watch something else.

Your Channel

Your “Channel” is your mood or the range of emotions that you hang out in most of the time. If you want to get a sense of what Channel you are on, ask yourself, “How do I normally feel on a typical day?”

Is your normal mood typically good, bad, or somewhere in between?
Do you wake up feeling rested, happy, and excited for the new day?
Or do you greet the day reluctantly and hit the snooze button a few times dreading to get up?
As you move through the day do you feel happy, content and interested in what you are doing or do you feel stressed, anxious, irritated, and overwhelmed?

The typical range of emotions that you hang around in is what equals your mood and sets your “Channel.”

Your Emotional Set-Point

The balance of your thoughts creates a type of “emotional set point.” All of us have a kind of “normal” range that our mood tends to stay in. It’s kind of like an emotional thermostat or range of emotions that are typical for us.

This emotional set-point is what sets the “Channel” that you are broadcasting and receiving on.

There is an emotional frequency range that goes from the heaviest of emotions; grief, depression, fear, and hopelessness all the way up to joy, appreciation, blessed, empowered and unconditional love.

Look at the chart below and see if you can pinpoint your typical mood range and what your channel is set to.

The cooperative Universe through the Law of Attraction brings to you people, circumstances and things that match your emotional set-point. How you feel emotionally is the “Channel” you are set on.

For example, if you spend a lot of time worrying about various things, your Channel is set to the worry station and you will attract back to you, things that, when they show up in your life will cause you to feel more worry.

Here’s another example, let’s say you are normally pretty happy, and you mostly expect that things usually work out for you. That’s where your channel is set and the frequency that you are sending out is going to bring back things to you that will increase your happiness and good feelings.

The Law of Attraction never takes sides or plays favorites; it just simply responds to whatever signal you are sending out!

Look at the emotional scale again and notice that on the left side there are three different attracting levels that correspond to the emotions in that range:

Positive Attraction – If your typical mood or emotional set-point is in the range of these emotions, your Channel is set to a frequency that is attracting to you, and allowing you to receive mostly what you want into your life experience.

The Channels in this range start at Hopeful and move up through Optimism, Belief, Positive Expectation, Happy, Eager, Enthusiastic, Passion, Purpose, Clarity, Unconditional Love, Grace, Empowered, Free, Blessed and Joy.

Neutral Attraction – If your typical mood or emotional set-point is in the range of these emotions, your Channel is set to a frequency that is attracting to you, more of the same experiences, people, and things that you are currently living. You might say that you are “stuck” in the same place.

The Channels in this range start at Doubt and move up through Disappointment, Overwhelmed/Stressed, Frustration/Irritation/Impatience, Boredom and Contentment.

Negative Attraction – If your typical mood or emotional set-point is in the range of these emotions, your Channel is set to a frequency that is attracting to you experiences, people and things that you do not want.

The Channels in this range start at Fear and move up through Grief, Depression, Despair, Powerlessness, Unworthiness, Guilt, Insecurity, Sadness, Jealousy, Rage, Hatred, Revenge, Anger, Discouragement, Blame, Worry, Anxiety, Doubt and Pessimism.

How to Change Your Channel

So, what Channel are you on? Where are you typically hanging out on the emotional scale?
Is it a good feeling place that brings back to you good feeling people, circumstances and things?
Do you love your life and have a steady stream of things you want flowing into it?
Or would you like to change it, maybe improve it?

I don’t know about you but I’m always open to feeling better! I believe there’s always room for improvement and that no matter how good I am feeling, I could feel even better! But that’s just me and if you’re happy with your life, wonderful! – keep doing what you’ve been doing.

But let’s say you’re interested in some improvement. Perhaps you would like to change your Channel to a better feeling station? But how?

You change your Channel by changing how you are feeling more of the time!

How do you change how you feel?

You change how you feel by changing what you are thinking about. If you want to feel better, think about things that feel better when you think them! If you’ve ever tried to stop thinking about something that you’ve been thinking a lot about you know how impossible that can be – you just can’t stop thinking about that thing you don’t want to think about! 

So, what to do?

Start thinking about something else instead of what you usually think about. Put your attention or your focus on something different. Put your attention on something that when you look at it or think about it, it feels good to you!

Since we all get to choose what Channel, we tune our thoughts to, you might want to experiment with tuning to a new Channel. My recommendation? Try tuning to: “The Blessings, Goodness, Beauty and Appreciation Channel!”

Wishing you a day filled with blessings & goodness! – Bonnie

A Cup of Calm to Help You Ease Stress & Anxiety & Feel Better Fast!
TTT Tapping to Help You De-Activate Your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Get some of your favorite beverage and then use the camera on your smart phone to scan the QR Code on the back of this uplifting 11oz., ceramic mug. You’ll be taken to a webpage that holds 3 different guided tapping techniques to help you ease your stress, anxiety & worries and start feeling better fast! Lean your phone up against your mug and settle down for a little emotional hygiene and self-care session.

Includes 3 guided videos to choose from.

  • Tap and Breathe – for a quick 2.5-minute reset.
  • Tapping to Relieve Stress, Anxiety and Feel Calm Safe, Centered & Secure – for a quick 4.5-minute emotional shift.
  • The Emotional Reset Process – a 28-minute guided video, where I lead you through a full Emotional Reset Process session!

Special Offer Price of Only – $20.00! – plus 6.99 shipping (US only)

Buy Now!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
Weekly tips, tools, & processes to help you feel better and live the life of your dreams!
To receive the Empowered To Thrive weekly newsletter delivered to your email, sign up below.
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How to Start Your Day

By Bonnie Durkin - 11/11/22

By Bonnie Durkin - 11/11/22

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

How Are You Starting Your Day?

How you start your day sets the tone for how the rest of your day unfolds. Each new day is the opportunity to push the reset button and choose how you want to focus your attention today.

Meditation first thing in the morning is a great way to clear your mind and allow your vibration to rise. The higher your vibration the better you feel emotionally and physically. The benefits to meditation are many but the one I want to focus on now, is stopping your patterns of resistant (negative/unhelpful) thoughts.

When you quiet your thoughts, your vibration automatically rises to your natural state of vibrant Well-Being; and your “sending & receiving signal” is reset to blessings, clarity, creativity, health and an abundance of all good things.

In my mind that is a really big payoff for 15 minutes a day!

Below is a simple process that you can use to help you quiet your mind, raise your vibration and set your focus or intention for the day.

The ABC Meditation

First thing in the morning find a place where you can sit quietly for about 5 minutes without being disturbed. Get comfortable, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. 

Start with the letter A and search your mind for “feeling words” that feel good to you. 

For example: A – appreciation, abundance, allowing. Choose as many or as few words as feel good to you. When you feel complete with A, move on to B. Keep repeating this sequence until you make it all the way to Z. There is no right or wrong here – don’t force this and be light and playful about it. You can use any word, or words you want if they feel good!

First thing in the morning find a place where you can sit quietly for about 5 minutes without being disturbed. Get comfortable, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. 

Start with the letter A and search your mind for “feeling words” that feel good to you. 

For example: A – appreciation, abundance, allowing. Choose as many or as few words as feel good to you. When you feel complete with A, move on to B. Keep repeating this sequence until you make it all the way to Z. 

There is no right or wrong here – don’t force this and be light and playful about it. You can use any word, or words you want if they feel good!

Focus Card Instructions

Once you finish with your ABC meditation, ask yourself how you’d like to feel today. For example: “I’d like to feel happy” Take an index card or a piece of paper and write “Happy” in the center and then fill in around it with words that feel like happy. Ponder for a bit and sit with things that feel like happy. 

For example – light, carefree, excited, joyful, etc. If you want to, you can use colored pencils or markers and get artistic, or not – again, do what feels good to you. Keep this simple and approach it as a fun and playful exercise. Keep your card with you throughout the day and keep reminding yourself that it is your intention to feel “happy” today. 

If you want to take it one step further you can “tap in” your good feeling words.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes! – Bonnie

This article is an excerpt from my book, The Appreciation Game – A 30-Day Process to Increase Happiness, Satisfaction & Well Being!

A Cup of Calm to Help You Ease Stress & Anxiety & Feel Better Fast!
TTT Tapping to Help You De-Activate Your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Get some of your favorite beverage and then use the camera on your smart phone to scan the QR Code on the back of this uplifting 11oz., ceramic mug. You’ll be taken to a webpage that holds 3 different guided tapping techniques to help you ease your stress, anxiety & worries and start feeling better fast! Lean your phone up against your mug and settle down for a little emotional hygiene and self-care session.

Includes 3 guided videos to choose from.

  • Tap and Breathe – for a quick 2.5-minute reset.
  • Tapping to Relieve Stress, Anxiety and Feel Calm Safe, Centered & Secure – for a quick 4.5-minute emotional shift.
  • The Emotional Reset Process – a 28-minute guided video, where I lead you through a full Emotional Reset Process session!

Special Offer Price of Only – $20.00! – plus 6.99 shipping (US only)

Buy Now!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
Weekly tips, tools, & processes to help you feel better and live the life of your dreams!
To receive the Empowered To Thrive weekly newsletter delivered to your email, sign up below.
Sign Up!

Wouldn’t it Be Nice If…

By Bonnie Durkin - 11/1/22

By Bonnie Durkin - 11/1/22

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

Wouldn't it Be Nice if...

This article is an excerpt from my book, The Appreciation Game – A 30-Day Process to Increase Happiness, Satisfaction & Well Being!

We all have those things in our life that whenever we think about “that subject” we go right to a negative place. Everyone is different but some common areas that seem to affect a lot of people are money, body weight or look, relationships (that person or persons who drives you crazy), health and job/career.

Every subject is actually two subjects – what you want on one side and what you don’t want on the other side. For example, let’s look at the subject of money: On one side you have prosperity – more than enough money for everything you want and need and on the other side you have scarcity – lack of money or not enough money for your desires and needs.

Because of the Law of Attraction and the neural pathways in your brain, if money is a bad feeling subject for you whenever it comes up – and money is one of those subjects that comes into your awareness many times during a day, you are going to feel negative emotion.

Your emotions are your indicators that tell you if you are in the process of attracting what you want or what you do not want. So, if you are feeling negative emotion, worry, stress, frustration, or fear, then it means that you are tuned to a vibrational Channel that does not allow things to improve for you financially.

So, how do you go about shifting a subject from bad feeling to good feeling?

If you have tried using affirmations and the power of positive thinking you know that just because you’re saying the “right” thing doesn’t necessarily mean that the “current reality” you’re living changes for the better.

If you are saying or thinking positive words and they do not feel true and/or you feel contradicted or uneasy while you’re saying them then your words won’t change anything and in fact could make things worse.

You must be able to evoke positive feelings while you are speaking or thinking about a subject for it to begin to change and improve.

Taking the example of money again: Let’s suppose that something major in your home breaks like a refrigerator and your train of thought goes something like this:
“I can’t believe the refrigerator broke. We can’t afford to replace this. This could not have come at a worse time. Money is really tight right now. We barely have enough to pay for our living expenses. There are so many other things that we need as well. Every time I turn around there is another expense that we can’t afford. We are so deeply in debt I don’t know how we’ll ever get out. What if my husband loses his job? They’ve been doing all kinds of cutbacks at his company. What if I lose my job? What if we can’t pay the mortgage? What if we lose our home? What if we lose our health insurance and someone gets sick? What if we have to move in with my parents?”

What if…, what if…, what if… and your thoughts and the scenarios get worse and worse – more and more scary and negative.

I call this going doing the negative what if… spiral and we all do it from time to time!

But what if you caught yourself doing it and you said, “Wait, stop! I don’t want this!” (lack of money, not enough money) “What is it that I do want?” (more than enough money)
Answer: “I want to have more than enough money to be able to pay for everything we need and want.”

So, if your answer is that you want to have more than enough money, I would recommend that you invest some time pondering the subject and ask yourself:

How do I want to feel about money? You might answer like this:
I want money to be a good feeling subject. I want to feel secure and stable about money. I want money to feel abundant. I want money to feel easy. I want money to feel light and fun! I want to feel really good about the subject of money!

Notice how in the previous paragraph the statements and feelings are very general. I did that on purpose because as soon as you get more specific you often start questioning how it’s going to come about.

When you don’t know the “how’s” you bring negative emotion right back into the equation and you abruptly stop the shift to a more positive feeling vibration.

The Law of Attraction does not care if what you are thinking about is true or not.

The Law of Attraction is reacting to the vibrational signal that you are broadcasting and bringing you back things that match it.

Good feeling thoughts bring back good feeling things and bad feeling thoughts will bring you more things to feel bad about.

Now that you are pointed in the direction of what you want and are feeling better, you can start gently making some “Wouldn’t it be nice if…” statements to build some more good feeling momentum.

Wouldn’t it be nice if…

Wouldn’t it be nice if we received some unexpected money from somewhere.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we found a great deal on a new refrigerator?

Wouldn’t it be nice if my husband’s company restructured and he got a new position with more money?

Wouldn’t it be nice if I met someone and they offered me a fantastic new job with a great salary?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were able to pay off all our debt?

Wouldn’t it be nice if money shifted and became abundant and easy for us?
Wouldn’t it be nice if we had more than enough money to be able to easily pay for all our expenses and our desires?

You can use whatever words feel good to you. The most important thing is to be light and general about your statements and as soon as you feel any resistance, stop and go back to the most general place by saying to yourself, “wouldn’t it be nice if I could feel good about money?”

You can use this process for any subject that you would like to feel better about. Just follow the example for Money and put in your own words and feelings around your specific subject.

Since most of us are quite good at spinning out negative “what if…” scenarios” why not use your mind to play out positive “wouldn’t be nice…” scenarios?

Today, instead of scaring yourself why not delight and inspire yourself?

Since your mind is always thinking something, why not choose to think something that feels good!

Give it a try and let me know how it goes! – Bonnie

A Cup of Calm to Help You Ease Stress & Anxiety & Feel Better Fast!
TTT Tapping to Help You De-Activate Your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Get some of your favorite beverage and then use the camera on your smart phone to scan the QR Code on the back of this uplifting 11oz., ceramic mug. You’ll be taken to a webpage that holds 3 different guided tapping techniques to help you ease your stress, anxiety & worries and start feeling better fast! Lean your phone up against your mug and settle down for a little emotional hygiene and self-care session.

Includes 3 guided videos to choose from.

  • Tap and Breathe – for a quick 2.5-minute reset.
  • Tapping to Relieve Stress, Anxiety and Feel Calm Safe, Centered & Secure – for a quick 4.5-minute emotional shift.
  • The Emotional Reset Process – a 28-minute guided video, where I lead you through a full Emotional Reset Process session!

Special Offer Price of Only – $20.00! – plus 6.99 shipping (US only)

Buy Now!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
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Press the Pause Button

By Bonnie Durkin - 10/10/22

By Bonnie Durkin - 10/10/22

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

Just Press Pause...

The basis of this article comes from my book, The Appreciation Game.

How much time do you spend aware of your present moment as you go through the day? If you’re like me and most other people probably not very much.

The truth is a lot of us are living most of our lives in our heads, stuck in our thoughts. We aren’t really present in the now moments of our days. It’s like we are actors being directed by our minds endless stream of commentary and opinions about ourselves, others and the world.

We are seeing and experiencing the world through the filter of our thoughts and beliefs which create our perceptions. This filter of beliefs and thoughts affect how we feel and how we experience everything in our lives.

We all have patterns of thoughts that don’t serve us. But a lot of times we aren’t even aware of what we are thinking. Our thoughts are just kind of running on automatic and until we check in with ourselves, we don’t even know that we aren’t feeling (emotionally) all that great.

Scientists say the average person has more than 60,000 thoughts a day. That’s about one thought per second during every hour you’re awake. What’s even more startling is that 95 percent of those thoughts are the same thoughts you had yesterday and the day before and the day before that. It’s like your thoughts are playing in an endless loop, constantly repeating over and over in your head!

Now if those repetitive thoughts were positive, it wouldn’t be a problem, but the truth is, that for the average person 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative. This means that the average person has more than 45,000 negative thoughts a day! Scientists have labeled these types of thoughts ANTS: Automatic Negative Thoughts.

Below is a little process that can help you become more aware of how you are feeling during the day and start to help you to shift to being more present in the moment and feeling better all around!

The Press Pause Process


This simple “Press Pause Process” can help you break the cycle of getting stuck in loops of negative thoughts and stop the ANTS!

The more you do it, the more you will retrain your brain to focus on the present moment and what is right and pleasing about your “now” experience. Eventually you will switch your automatic negative thoughts to more and more automatic positive thoughts!

How to do the Process

Throughout the day stop and “press pause.” I like to literally touch a finger to my forehead on the 3rd eye spot between my eyebrows. Then check in and ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now in this moment?”

Then take 3 slow deep breaths, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth and then look around wherever you are and say to yourself, “Right now in this moment I am…(sitting at my desk, driving in the car, unloading the dishwasher, etc.)”

Ask yourself, am “Am I okay? Am I safe? Is anything going wrong at this moment?”

Now look around wherever you are and find something in the vicinity that you like and focus on it. Then find something else that you like and focus on that.

Expand it by saying, “I like this because?” Keep going until you feel better.

Do this whenever you think of it throughout the day, or if you notice you are feeling stressed, anxious, or stuck in a negative thought loop.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Bonnie

A Cup of Calm to Help You Ease Stress & Anxiety & Feel Better Fast!
TTT Tapping to Help You De-Activate Your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Get some of your favorite beverage and then use the camera on your smart phone to scan the QR Code on the back of this uplifting 11oz., ceramic mug. You’ll be taken to a webpage that holds 3 different guided tapping techniques to help you ease your stress, anxiety & worries and start feeling better fast! Lean your phone up against your mug and settle down for a little emotional hygiene and self-care session.

Includes 3 guided videos to choose from.

  • Tap and Breathe – for a quick 2.5-minute reset.
  • Tapping to Relieve Stress, Anxiety and Feel Calm Safe, Centered & Secure – for a quick 4.5-minute emotional shift.
  • The Emotional Reset Process – a 28-minute guided video, where I lead you through a full Emotional Reset Process session!

Special Offer Price of Only – $20.00! – plus 6.99 shipping (US only)

Buy Now!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
Weekly tips, tools, & processes to help you feel better and live the life of your dreams!
To receive the Empowered To Thrive weekly newsletter delivered to your email, sign up below.
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Align With Your Desire

By Bonnie Durkin - 10/3/22

By Bonnie Durkin - 10/3/22

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

How to Align With What You Want

Everything we want to be, do, or have, we want because we think that when we have it, we will feel better – that we’ll be happier. But there’s an interesting thing that happens because of the universal, law of attraction. We can’t be, have or do anything that we are not a vibrational match to. So, if we are holding out on feeling better until we get that thing or state of being we want, it can never come to us. We can’t have what we don’t already feel. Like attracts like and however we are dominantly feeling, is what we are attracting back to us.

  • You can’t be rich if you are feeling poor.
  • You be slim if you are feeling fat.
  • You can’t be successful if you feel like a failure.
  • You can’t find love unless you feel lovable.
  • You can’t be healthy if you are focused on how sick you feel.

You must find a way to stop focusing on what your current reality is and find a way to imagine beyond what is, to become what you want to be.

This can be very tricky to do, especially if what you are living now, is right in your face.

For example: a body that is sick, or hurts, or doesn’t look the way you want. Or a bank account that doesn’t have enough money in it to pay the bills.

Below is an easy exercise you can use to start shifting the focus of your thoughts from what is, to what you want. – Bonnie

Align With Your Desire Process

This is a simple process that allows you to refocus your thoughts, remove the contradictions from your energy and start “feeling your way” towards manifesting what you desire.

Let’s say that you’d like to have more money, but your present reality is that you don’t have enough money to pay your bills easily and do the things you want to do. So, you know clearly what you don’t want, lack of money, not enough money.

Now ask yourself, what is it that I do want?

More than enough money to easily pay my bills and do the things I want to do.

Then ask yourself, why do I want more money?

I want more money so I can easily pay my bills on time. I want more money so I can pay off our debts. I want more money so I can start saving and create some financial security. I want more money so I can buy the things I want to buy (you can be as specific as you want). I want more money so I can help the people I love. I want more money so I can contribute to my favorite causes. I want more money so I can remodel our home or buy a better home. I want more money so I can travel. I want more money so I can be free to do what I want, when I want to. Etc.

Now ask yourself, how would I feel if I had the amount of money I’d like to have? – if I was actually living that reality.

I would feel free. I would feel confident. I would feel secure. I would feel empowered. I would feel abundant. I would feel at ease. I would feel prosperous. I would feel like I had lots of choices. I would feel… etc.

Now get a notebook or a piece of paper and spend a few minutes going through the exercise below.

  1. I don’t want (my present reality)…
  2. I do want…
  3. I want it because…
  4. When I have it/have become it/living it, I will feel…
  5. Now pretend that this has happened (don’t worry about or think about the hows) spend some time each day imagining yourself living it.

The universe doesn’t care whether what you are thinking about is “real” or imagined. If you think about it long enough to start generating strong positive emotions the law of attraction will start bringing you “things” that are a vibrational match to what you are feeling.

Here’s an important note for you to keep in mind, do this exercise for the fun of it. Do it because it feels good to think about things that feel good when you are thinking about them. Don’t do it because you are trying to fix something or make something happen because that will cause contradictions in your energy and slow it down. Imagine it, just for the pleasure that it gives you to do it!

Happy Aligning! – Bonnie

A Cup of Calm to Help You Ease Stress & Anxiety & Feel Better Fast!
TTT Tapping to Help You De-Activate Your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Get some of your favorite beverage and then use the camera on your smart phone to scan the QR Code on the back of this uplifting 11oz., ceramic mug. You’ll be taken to a webpage that holds 3 different guided tapping techniques to help you ease your stress, anxiety & worries and start feeling better fast! Lean your phone up against your mug and settle down for a little emotional hygiene and self-care session.

Includes 3 guided videos to choose from.

  • Tap and Breathe – for a quick 2.5-minute reset.
  • Tapping to Relieve Stress, Anxiety and Feel Calm Safe, Centered & Secure – for a quick 4.5-minute emotional shift.
  • The Emotional Reset Process – a 28-minute guided video, where I lead you through a full Emotional Reset Process session!

Special Offer Price of Only – $20.00! – plus 6.99 shipping (US only)

Buy Now!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
Weekly tips, tools, & processes to help you feel better and live the life of your dreams!
To receive the Empowered To Thrive weekly newsletter delivered to your email, sign up below.
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Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts

By Bonnie Durkin - 9/27/22

By Bonnie Durkin - 9/27/22

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

Are ANT'S Stealing Your Joy?

Unless you are paying attention to what you are feeling and then practicing good daily emotional hygiene by processing patterns of thought that don’t feel good, ANT’s may be overwhelming your mind and stealing your joy.

Let me explain. ANTs stand for Automatic Negative Thoughts and scientist say that the average person has about 45,000 of them each day! This may sound bad, but the worst part is that thoughts with negative emotions attached to them create a physiological response in our bodies.

The amygdala (survival) part of our brain perceives negative emotions as a signal that danger is present and so it activates the stress response to give us the ability to run for our lives.

This is wonderful if you are faced with true physical danger but not so great if it gets activated throughout your day because of what you are thinking about.

Overtime the physiological reactions of the “stress response” can create havoc with our physical and emotional wellbeing including digestive issues, tension in muscles, headaches, weight gain, diminished immune function, insomnia, anxiety, inability to concentrate, depression and much more.

So, what can you do about it?

  • Start becoming more aware of what you are thinking about throughout the day and how those thoughts feel.
  • Process & release daily stresses, upsets, resentments & worries using your favorite energy healing techniques.
  • Limit negative input: STOP before you read, watch, or listen to anything and ask yourself:
  • Does focusing on this feel good or bad?
  • Is this something that I want to experience for myself?
  • Does this add to my happiness & well-being or detract from it?
  • Is this empowering or dis-empowering to think about?
  • Is this life affirming or life detracting?
  • Do I want to bring the essence of this into my life?

What you think about really matters because what you are thinking is not only affecting your physical body and your emotions, but it’s also affecting what you are attracting into your experience.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes. – Bonnie

The In-Active Box

This process comes from Abraham-Hicks and it’s a great way to start changing the energy & breaking the cycle of your Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs).

Get yourself an empty tissue box and write on it: “Whatever is in this box is de-activated and does not affect me and my vibration.”

Get a small notebook and anytime you are aware that you are thinking about something that feels bad and you don’t want to add any energy to it, write it on a page. For example: “I am de-activating this fear that my child will have an accident while driving.” Rip off the page fold it and put it into the inactive box with the intention of letting it go.

Note: You can use your smart phone notes or talk to text if you don’t have your notebook & box nearby and then just write it down & put it in the box when you get home.

 I have found this to be a truly amazing and simple process to help me break long held repetitive patterns of unwanted thoughts.

 Just so you know, you may have to write the same thing down over & over again for many days but then all of a sudden, you’ll realize you’re not thinking about it anymore!

Happy In-Activating! – Bonnie

A Cup of Calm to Help You Ease Stress & Anxiety & Feel Better Fast!
TTT Tapping to Help You De-Activate Your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Get some of your favorite beverage and then use the camera on your smart phone to scan the QR Code on the back of this uplifting 11oz., ceramic mug. You’ll be taken to a webpage that holds 3 different guided tapping techniques to help you ease your stress, anxiety & worries and start feeling better fast! Lean your phone up against your mug and settle down for a little emotional hygiene and self-care session.

Includes 3 guided videos to choose from.

  • Tap and Breathe – for a quick 2.5-minute reset.
  • Tapping to Relieve Stress, Anxiety and Feel Calm Safe, Centered & Secure – for a quick 4.5-minute emotional shift.
  • The Emotional Reset Process – a 28-minute guided video, where I lead you through a full Emotional Reset Process session!

Special Offer Price of Only – $20.00! – plus 6.99 shipping (US only)

Buy Now!

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
Weekly tips, tools, & processes to help you feel better and live the life of your dreams!
To receive the Empowered To Thrive weekly newsletter delivered to your email, sign up below.
Sign Up!

Affirmation Walks

By Bonnie Durkin - 9/20/22

By Bonnie Durkin - 9/20/22

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

With Every Step I Take...

I love to take walks! It’s one of my favorite things to do and lately I’ve been experimenting with adding some positive affirmations along with my walking. What I’ve been doing, is saying out loud (or in my mind if others are around), “with every step I take…” and adding in whatever I want to increase or focus on more in my life. 

For example:

With every step I take I’m getting stronger.
With every step I take I’m feeling better.
With every step I take I’m getting fitter.
With every step I take I’m getting slimmer.
With every step I take I’m getting healthier.
With every step I take I’m feeling happier & happier.
With every step I take I’m getting clearer & clearer.
With every step I take I’m feeling more successful.
With every step I take I’m becoming more abundant.
With every step I take I’m moving closer to my dreams.

I just say whatever pops into my mind, and I mix it up depending on what feels good and uplifting. Once I get rolling it really feels good and by the time that I’m finished with my walk I’m really flying high! 

Give it a try and let me know how it goes! – Bonnie

What Percentage Are You Aligned With Your Desire?

Do you have a desire that you want to create/manifest/live? Want to find out how aligned you are with it and how many things are contradicting it that need to be released and re-aligned? Click below and fill out the form to receive your complimentary Energy Alignment Assessment.
Get Your Assessment
A Cup of Calm to Help You Ease Stress & Anxiety & Feel Better Fast!
Tapping: But I'm Not There Yet...
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