This week inside our private Facebook group, we’ve been exploring a series of ideas that all point back to one simple truth: Your life is happening right now.

We’ve talked about changing “I have to” into “I get to,” recognizing that the same moment can feel completely different depending on the story we’re telling ourselves, appreciating what is already here while we’re waiting for something more, and choosing to participate in creating a good day.

This is something I’ve personally been pondering a lot lately. The life I’m experiencing is right here, right now—and how I feel in this moment often has much more to do with my perception than with what is actually happening.

I have a tendency to live slightly ahead of myself. I’m often thinking about what’s coming next, what needs to happen, what I’m looking forward to, or what I’ll do once something else is settled. There’s nothing wrong with looking ahead or feeling excited about the future, but when my mind is always focused on what’s next, it’s easy to overlook the life that is happening right in front of me.

Lately, I’ve been practicing being more mindful and deliberate about returning to my now moments. I don’t want to stop looking forward. I simply don’t want to miss what is here while I’m waiting for what comes next.

How Often Do We Postpone Feeling Good?

I think many of us live with an unspoken belief that we’ll be able to relax and enjoy life when something changes.

I’ll feel better when this problem is resolved. I’ll be happy when I reach that goal. I’ll relax when everyone I love is doing okay. I’ll enjoy myself when I finish everything on my list. I’ll feel peaceful when life settles down.

But life rarely settles down completely. One concern is resolved and another appears. We finish one project and immediately begin thinking about the next. We reach a goal and then move the finish line a little farther away.

Before we know it, we’ve turned today into a waiting room for the life we hope to have tomorrow.

Of course, there will always be things we want, plans we’re excited about, and situations we genuinely hope will change. Being present doesn’t mean giving up our desires or pretending we don’t care about what happens next. It means allowing ourselves to live while those things are still unfolding.

You don’t have to stop wanting things to change. You simply don’t want to miss the life you have while you’re waiting for them to change.

The Same Moment Can Hold More Than One Story

One of the ideas we explored this week was that the same moment can feel completely different depending on the story we’re telling ourselves about it.

Suppose you wake up to a rainy day. One story might be, “Well, there goes my day. The weather is miserable and now I can’t do what I planned.” Another might be, “This is a good day to slow down, make something warm, and do a few things I’ve been putting off.”

The rain hasn’t changed. Your experience of the day has.

This doesn’t mean we should put a positive spin on everything or deny what is painful. Some circumstances really are difficult, disappointing, or heartbreaking. Our feelings need to be acknowledged, not brushed aside.

But even when something difficult is happening, it usually isn’t the only thing happening.

There may also be a warm cup of coffee in your hands, sunlight coming through the window, a friend checking in, a dog curled up beside you, or one small thing you can do today that will help you feel a little better. Widening your perspective doesn’t erase the difficulty. It simply keeps the difficulty from becoming the entire picture.

From “I Have To” to “I Get To”

The language we use can also change how we experience an ordinary moment.

“I have to go to work” feels different from “I get to earn a living doing work that matters to me.”

“I have to make dinner” feels different from “I get to nourish myself and the people I love.”

“I have to exercise” feels different from “I get to move a body that is capable of carrying me through my life.”

This isn’t about forcing ourselves to feel grateful for every chore or responsibility. Some things really are tedious, inconvenient, or hard. The shift from “I have to” to “I get to” simply helps us notice the choice, ability, privilege, or meaning that may also be present.

The circumstances may be exactly the same, but our relationship to the moment changes. What felt like a burden can begin to feel like a choice. What felt ordinary can remind us of something we value. What felt like one more thing to get through can become part of the life we are fortunate enough to be living.

A Good Day Doesn’t Require a Perfect Day

We often decide whether a day was good based on what happened to us. If everything went according to plan, it was a good day. If we received upsetting news, had a difficult conversation, felt tired, or faced an inconvenience, it was a bad day.

But a good day doesn’t require every moment to be good.

A day can contain frustration and laughter. It can include disappointment and a beautiful sunset. You can feel worried about someone you love and still enjoy lunch with a friend. You can be uncertain about the future and deeply appreciate something that is here today.

We don’t have complete control over what a day brings, but we do have some influence over how we participate in it. We can choose what we give our attention to, how we speak to ourselves, where we place our energy, and whether we allow one difficult moment to define everything that follows.

Sometimes creating a good day is as simple as stepping outside, calling someone who lifts your spirits, playing music you love, noticing what is going right, or deciding to begin again after something throws you off.

A Simple Exercise to Return to the Present

The next time you notice yourself living in the future, waiting for something to change, or deciding that one difficult thing has ruined your day, try this short practice.

1. Pause and breathe

Take a slow breath in and allow your exhale to be a little longer than your inhale. Let your shoulders drop and bring your attention back into your body. You don’t need to solve anything in this moment. You are simply creating enough space to notice what is happening.

2. Ask, “What is actually happening right now?”

Separate the facts of this moment from your thoughts about the past or future. Are you physically safe? Are you sitting in a comfortable chair? Is there something beautiful or soothing within your view? What is true in this exact moment—not tomorrow, next week, or an hour from now?

3. Notice the story you’re telling yourself.

Are you telling yourself that you can’t be happy until something changes? That the whole day is ruined? That you have to figure everything out immediately? You don’t have to judge or argue with the story. Just notice it.

Then ask, “Is there another story that is also true?”

Maybe you don’t know what will happen, but you know you can handle this moment. Maybe part of today has been difficult, but something good has happened too. Maybe you are waiting for an answer, but you are still allowed to enjoy your life while you wait.

4. Look for what is here.

Name three things that are good, comforting, beautiful, or simply okay in this moment. They don’t need to be profound. The goal is not to talk yourself out of what is hard. It is to widen your view enough to see what else is present.

5. Choose how you want to participate in the rest of your day.

Ask yourself, “What is one small thing within my control that would help this feel like a good day?”

Perhaps you want to take a walk, finish something that matters to you, rest without feeling guilty, make a nourishing meal, or give your full attention to someone you love. Choose one simple action and allow it to bring you back into your life.

Come Back to the Life That Is Here

Presence isn’t something we master once and never have to think about again. Our minds will wander into the past. They will race ahead into the future. We’ll become focused on what needs to be done, what might happen, and what we’re waiting for.

The practice is simply to notice and come back.

Come back to the breath you are taking. Come back to the person in front of you. Come back to the meal you are eating, the sky above you, the sound of laughter, or the feeling of your feet on the ground. Come back to what is good. Come back to what is real. Come back to the life that is happening now.

You don’t need a perfect life to experience a meaningful moment. You don’t need every problem to be resolved before you allow yourself to feel joy. And you don’t have to wait until tomorrow to participate in creating a good day.

Your life is right here. Your life is right now. Be here for it.

Affirmation: My life is happening right now. I can appreciate what is good, meet what is difficult, and choose to be fully present for this day.

With love,
Bonnie