By Bonnie Durkin - 5/23/25

By Bonnie Durkin - 5/23/25

Author, Speaker, Energy Alignment Practitioner & Personal Empowerment Coach

The Power of Following Through: Building Self-Trust One Promise at a Time

Have you ever told yourself you were going to do something — start that morning routine, drink more water, go for a walk, meditate, or journal — and then not followed through? We all have. And while it may seem like no big deal in the moment, over time, those broken promises to ourselves can chip away at something deeply important: our self-trust.

But here’s the good news: you can rebuild that trust, one small follow-through at a time. And the process isn’t just emotional or motivational — it’s deeply rooted in science.

In this blog post, we’re diving into the powerful connection between keeping your word to yourself, building self-trust, and creating new habits that support the life you truly want to live. We’ll explore the neuroscience behind it, why self-praise matters, and how acknowledging your own effort can radically shift your mindset and momentum.

Why Following Through Matters

Every time you do what you say you’re going to do — especially when no one else is watching — you strengthen your sense of integrity. This builds confidence, self-respect, and internal alignment. You start to trust yourself as someone who can be counted on — by others, yes, but most importantly, by you.

When you don’t follow through, you send a subtle message to your subconscious: “My words don’t matter. I can’t count on myself.”

That message may seem small, but repeated over time, it becomes a belief. And beliefs shape your actions, your confidence, and ultimately, your results.

So how do we shift this?
By making small promises and keeping them.

The Neuroscience of Self-Trust and Habit Building

Your brain is wired to recognize and reinforce patterns. The more often you think a thought or take an action, the stronger the neural pathway associated with that behavior becomes. This is the magic of neuroplasticity — your brain’s ability to change and adapt through repetition.

Let’s say you commit to a five-minute breathing practice each morning. The first time you do it, your brain begins building a new neural connection. Each time you repeat it, that connection strengthens — like walking the same path through tall grass. Eventually, it becomes a well-worn trail: easier to access, automatic, and habitual.

But there’s a second layer to this process: dopamine. Dopamine is the brain’s “reward” chemical. When you follow through on something and then take a moment to acknowledge or celebrate it, your brain releases dopamine. That release signals to the brain, “Yes! This feels good. Let’s do it again.”

Over time, your brain begins to crave that reward. And that’s how habits start to form and stick — not through willpower alone, but through consistent, rewarded repetition.

Keeping Promises to Yourself: Why It’s More Than Motivation

Motivation is great — but it’s not always reliable. Some days you wake up energized and excited. Other days… not so much.

What creates real momentum isn’t waiting to feel motivated. It’s building self-integrity — the ability to do what you say you’re going to do, even when you don’t feel like it.

Think of self-integrity as a muscle. Every time you follow through on a promise — no matter how small — you strengthen that muscle. You prove to yourself, “I can do hard things. I can rely on me.”

This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. In fact, perfectionism often keeps people stuck. It’s not about doing everything; it’s about doing something consistently and showing up in alignment with your intentions.

The Role of Self-Acknowledgment and Praise

Now let’s talk about something that often gets overlooked: celebrating yourself.

When’s the last time you paused to say, “I’m proud of myself for doing that”? Not in an arrogant way, but in a grounded, loving way. So many people push themselves constantly but rarely take the time to acknowledge their efforts — especially the small wins.

But those small wins matter.

Let’s go back to the dopamine loop. When you recognize your own effort — even just mentally saying, “Hey, I did it!” — you’re triggering the brain’s reward center. This reinforces the behavior and increases your desire to do it again.

Acknowledgment and self-praise are emotional nourishment. They help balance out the inner critic that says “You’re not doing enough” or “You’re falling behind.”

By pausing to honor what you are doing, you shift the inner narrative. You build emotional momentum. And most importantly, you feel good about yourself — which is exactly the kind of energy that attracts more of what you want.

Real-Life Applications: How to Practice This Daily

Here’s how you can begin putting this into practice right away:

  1. Start Small and Be Specific

Don’t overcommit. Pick one or two things you want to follow through on each day. Examples:

  • “I get to journal for 5 minutes tonight.”

  • “I get to take 3 deep breaths before I open my email.”

  • “I get to walk around the block at lunchtime.”

Make it measurable and doable.

  1. Say It Out Loud or Write It Down

There’s power in declaring your intention. It makes it more real. Keep a “promise log” or use sticky notes if that helps you stay focused.

  1. Follow Through – Even If It’s Not Perfect

Progress, not perfection. If you meant to meditate for 10 minutes and you only did 3, celebrate the 3! You still followed through in spirit.

  1. Acknowledge and Celebrate

This is the key. Once you follow through, pause and say:

  • “I did what I said I was going to do!”

  • “I’m proud of myself for showing up.”

  • “That felt really good — I get to feel this more.”

You might even write down your wins at the end of the day. The more you recognize them, the more they grow.

  1. Watch What Changes

Notice how your mood shifts. How your confidence builds. How your energy rises. These changes may seem subtle at first, but they compound over time in powerful ways.

Why This Matters in the Bigger Picture

Following through and keeping promises to yourself isn’t just about productivity or goal-setting — it’s about identity. Each time you act in alignment with your intention, you’re casting a vote for the person you want to be.

You’re not just “doing a thing.”
You’re becoming the version of yourself who:

  • Shows up

  • Follows through

  • Keeps going

  • And trusts herself deeply

That kind of self-trust? That’s unshakable. That’s magnetic. That’s transformational.

And it starts with one small promise kept.

Final Thoughts

If you’re someone who has struggled with consistency or self-doubt, let this be your reminder: you don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. You just need to start showing up for yourself — one small, doable, follow-through at a time.

The shift is in the follow-through.
The magic is in the moment you keep your word — and then take a breath to say, “I did it.”

You get to trust yourself.
You get to celebrate yourself.
You get to create a life built on alignment, confidence, and inner peace.

Let that be your next step.

With appreciation and belief in your ability to get what you desire!
Bonnie

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